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Gallery of twisted stickmen

I like drawing loads of stupid stickmen on papers. I got very bored drawing normal stickmen, so one day I decided to let my mind do the drawings! I asked each stickman I drew for a brief statement on their view of their sad freakish lives. Sit back and enjoy!


Hi there. I'm a normal stickman. I have a great life, and don't have any problems filling out my tax returns	I was born with my head on my hand. I scare people at bowling, but it hurts to play tennis!	Sadly I don't have any arms, but my favourite TV program is Eastenders	I had a harsh pregnancy, and my DNA is kinda screwed up. Running places makes me tired


I get teased at school - they call me "headfoot", and it makes me cry. Just think how bad it smells when I don't change my socks!	I used to be normal, but I ran too fast under a very low bridge	I like to scare people, but when I wear a hat I can't see anything. The only bad thing is that I will never get a job as a shampoo advertising person	My mum was hanging by her legs while she was pregnant, so I like to stand on my head, and overbalance if I stand up. Its something to do with the blood rushing to my feet?


I'm not very happy with Chris! If he had not been so silly when drawing my arm, then I would have been normal. At least I can flick birds from any tree branches they are perched sleeping on!	Its ok for him... I'm the one that has to clean his teeth!	Now I know why my mum told me never put the air-compressor in my ear	Doctors tell me that I'm the first human ever to be born with whole working heads instead of ears! Whats cool is that I don't have to feed them, as they get all the vitamines they need from my earwax!


[Chris: This stickman would have given us a statement, but as he has no head he can't talk]	I hate my body. People tease me and call me a Bee. I just laugh and reply, "well why wouldn't I want arms on my head?"	I'm another stickman that would have been normal, but Chris needed to go to the toilet. And when he came back, he forgot to finish me!	Dispite me being in my late 40's, I can still get away with Child Fayres on busses and trains!


[Chris: Although this stickman started out with a mouth, he got hungry one day, and ate his own mouth! So he can't make a statement either]	One day half of my head just fell off! If I didn't hold my brain in, then it would just fall out!	When Chris drew me he felt in quite a surealist mood... and was trying to copy that famous painter	I would say something, but Chris can't think what to write about me... apart from calling me a freak!


I used to play with landmines, but then I found that picking pieces of my body off was more fun	Owch!! I hurt!! If I ever learn how to walk I'll catch Chris, and once I have learned how to co-ordinate my movements to punch him, I will! Grrr!!	Since my head was squashed when my piano fell on it... oops, the bucket that my head is dripping into is almost full. I'd better go change it	Having eyes on stalks means that when I'm kissing someone, I can massage their neck with my eyes! How useful is that! Who needs lotion when you've got Mr Sleepyman juice!!


1) sod my nickname of Mr Spamhead 2) sod my other nickname of Humpty Dumpty 3) sod my other other nickname of Slaphead 4) sod people using my head as target practice in crowds at music festivals!!	I like to stick my body into power sockets... so I look like this. Still, it is fun. I don't like trips abroad, as they only have 2 slots, but the UK is ok	hhh hh h hhhh hh, hhh hh hhhh. Hh hhh hhh h hhhh h hh, h h hh hh hh hh, hh hh hh! H hhhhhhhh hhhh h hh hhh hh hh hhh hh!! Hhh? Hhh hh hh hhhhh hh hhhhhh!!	We're siameese twins, joined at the hip. We have been advised that if we can put up with hopping for the rest of our lives, then we can have the separation op!


Yes my fellow freaks have problems, but I think that with having extra limbs, and having fully operational heads on the end of each of them, I have the most problems in life!!